As an only child Josh’s youth can basically be summed up as, “Finding Hobbies: The Josh Haroldson Story”. Christmases and Birthdays were great, but without any siblings it was up to him to stay busy a lot of time.
It shouldn’t be much of a surprise then that most of his hobbies ended up being intensely solo pursuits. Golf. Photography. Video Games. Writing. All perfect solutions for the creative only child.
Stasia on the other hand grew up with a sister close in age and tons of family. Combine all that with a natural, magnetic ability for people to like her (ed. note: Josh wrote this) and hobbies just weren’t as neccesary a ‘thing’ for her.
Fast forward to today and we’re left with an interesting conundrum. The boy with too many hobbies, the girl with too few, and this week’s question…
This week’s question
How do you support your partner’s hobbies?
Josh and Stasia’s Answer
Stasia – Hobbies are always a topic of conversation in our house, mostly because they are so lopsided for us. Meaning : Josh has a ton and me, well, not so much. My life has been strongly rooted in structure for as long as I can remember, and it suits me well.
I love getting stuff done around the house, crossing off my to-do list and feeling productive. He, on the other hand, could get lost in photography, writing, web design, biking (you get the idea) for hours at a time, barely coming up for food or air.
The best way I’ve found to support him is to allow him that flow time while still speaking up when there needs to be some structure put into place. It’s been a learning experience for both of us to let the other person be who they are by nature, but it’s also helped us to each become a little bit more well-rounded as a whole. He’s introduced some structure that has allowed him to take on some unique opportunities, while I’ve been able to take some time to learn what I really like to do while staying true to my list-making self.
Josh – When it comes to supporting Stasia I’ve made it a point to try and encourage her to keep seeking out things that are rewarding for her. Not everyone needs to have a specific hobby necessarily, but I do think that it is really important for you to encourage your partner to continue to take the time do things that make them the best version of themselves. My hobbies are refreshing for me and I want to make sure that she has that opportunity for herself.
That means that sometimes the most important thing I can do for Stasia is to take things off her plate so she feels free to pursue something that makes her happy. That means taking a breath before I dive into my own thing and doing a chore right away or maybe just to communicate to her what my plan is.
I’m not always great at that, but if you both have that mindset it creates an understanding in your relationship that one of our main goals is to help each other create time to do the things that we love.
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